The Lost Girl

Warning: NSFW content

pinata

Tick tock tick tock

It is one past twenty-three in the morning. She knows that an eight years old girl should be asleep by nine. She finds the ticking sound is peaceful. She feels reluctant to fall asleep in such peaceful night like this when she is able to sleep soundly. No television crashing. No door slamming. No cupboard crashing. No mommy shouting. No daddy shouting. No nightmares. She feels grateful enough.

She is a little girl that believes two home is better than one. She is a little girl that has to deal with such an ordeal. Her mind flows to last Wednesday. Daddy was here. When daddy is here things are not right. She hardly ever hearing her dad talk normally. Daddy always shouting in rage at mommy, and then mommy always lamenting in misery. She never saved mommy. She condemns herself for always running away to the hollow playground downstairs. That is where she met her, a girl with two black eye sockets, without eyeballs. She thinks that girl is always there for her, but she never talks. She often confused because she only does not have eyes, her mouth is there.

Suddenly she remembers when she attended one of her friend’s birthday party, and there was piñata-hitting game. She knew that it is far from possible since she can’t even hope to have such parents that will arrange everything according to your favor for your ninth birthday party. She cried even harder.

She has a friend at school who she despises the most. She thinks she has everything. Straight As, lovely attitude, a warm family which makes everyone loves her. That is not what it is supposed to be. Beauty belongs to her. Superiority belongs to her. She did recall everything that daddy had done to mommy. She thinks imitating his violence is not that hard.

Every time she sees her, hatred controlled her. Shatter. Ruin. Destroy. Torture. Annihilate. That is all she wanted to do to her. She never regretted it, because she thinks that is what she deserves. Let’s say her wicked obligation.

So she did it.

She finds the best time to do such obligation is after the school ends. One one fine day, the three girls, with one other classmate, were given no choice but to clean the classroom. Her friend was about to leave as soon as possible, lessen the time spent in the same room with her. It was after she returned the mop, her black backpack was not in her seat.

“Why didn’t you give me your cheat-sheet?”

She keeps in silence.

“Answer me, bitch.”

She was not answering.

“Fine. You are choosing the hard way.”

The other classmate came up with a scissor.

“I don’t like your hair. Your hair is such an awful sight for me, and the rest of the class. Let me cut it for you. If you refuse, you are coming with me to the bathroom.”

She cannot scream, yet her tears dampen her cheeks. They restrained her movements by holding her arms with a tight grip. She cut the left-side of her long straight hair, followed by her bangs.

“Hmm. Now is better.”

But she was not completely satisfied yet. They threw her black backpack through the window. Their class is on the 4th floor. Her friend was that type of student that cherish everything she learned at school. She begged them forlornly not to throw her bag. But she did it. Her friend ran downstairs with her unevenly cut hair, picked up her bag and ran away home with her wet cheeks.

Another day before was when she brought lasagna to school for lunch, compare to burnt chicken nuggets for her. It was ten minutes past two.

“You’re coming with me to the bathroom.”

She kept on resisting, but her grip was too strong for her. Her friend did not know yet that one of her worst nightmares is about to happen.

She inserted her forefinger to her friend’s mouth, poked her throat several times.

She threw up everything, over and over.

She cried while she laughed. Loud is the only similarity.

That was exactly after she felt satisfied, and went home. The front door was not locked. She heard mommy and daddy were in their bedroom. The door was opened a bit, like a long, vertical peephole. Mommy was backed into a corner with daddy’s sturdy figure. Mommy was half-naked, while daddy wore his pants only until his knees. He used every tiniest bit of his strength, relentlessly pushing his body against mommy’s weak body. Mommy was sobbing unstoppably.

She cannot take this any further.

She ran away while sobbing, make sure that no one would hear her.

As always.

Pondering about A.K.

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